I’LL HAVE A PARAGRAPH FOR GETTING INTO THE DECEMBER THEME!
Hello, December has just started and… I’m SURE we aren’t gonna be talking about summer stuff. I mean, it’s not like we’re not gonna mention ANYTHING in summertime, like, of course the sun’s still out (not all the time), or… the beaches are still THERE. But, ummm… I’m sure you know what’s going on December. I mean the good stuff, like snow not the flu and stuff like that… Cause I need to get the flu shot (and it hurts my arm). We’re gonna be settled in December theme for the rest of the month.
YOU KNOW THE DECEMBER THEME, SO I’LL GET STARTED!
I’m old enough to understand SANTA. I do not believe that Santa is real, and I can prove that. I got 7 good reasons Santa isn’t real. I’ll say Santa with a capital to not disappoint those who DO believe Santa.
- HOW ON EARTH DOES HE GET IN MY HOUSE?! I have NO clue how Santa can sneak into my house. He won’t crash through my balcony door, neither will he steal my house keys and open my front door, or will he use a chainsaw to cut open my wall?? And if he uses magic, JUST TELLING YOU… MAGIC ISN’T REAL!!
- Does he ever have a heart attack?? He eats all those cookies and drink all that milk in literally ONE night. AND LIKE, HE DOESN’T EVER GETS FULL??? . THIS GUY IS CRAZY ABOUT FOOD…
- HE’S SO CREEPY. Like, who spies on you to see if you’re bad or not? That’s SO creepy. Imagine me just sneaking into your house, spying on you to see if you’re being good, LIKE, WHO DOES THAT?!! He’s totally creepy in this way too: If he has a list of who’s good or not, HOW DOES HE EVEN KNOW YOUR NAME???
- How does Santa get all his money?? He has to buy you all this stuff, of course you don’t pay, but like, when did he get this money? There are literally like, all these kids around the world, and he buys presents for every single one of them… is he like, a billionaire?! Or is he friends with Jeff Bezos? Or is he just super rich???
- I googled how old Santa was, and like, this showed up in the paragraph:
6. Does he even get SICK???!!!! Okay, first of all, he can walk around at night in the HAIL, and not get sick! WOW! And he talks to all these kids all night, and doesn’t lose his voice!
7. GRAVITY EXISTS YOU KNOW!!! He travels by flying deer, and they don’t even have wings! They can’t just float around like it’s 0 gravity! There is gravity on earth! Those deer would drop and pull Santa’s sleigh with them and they would all be badly injured D:
That’s it! Now, do you believe Santa anymore? WELL- GOODBYE!!!